That’s what she thinks I have control of the computer, she will have to tell the slave to take it from me, and the slave has been doing my bidding for longer so I am sure I know whom the slave will back up in this situation.
Let’s see now where I was, oh yeah last week I was telling you how to train your human to keep your home running smooth. I may have messed up here myself because as you already know I now have a fur-sister named Juliet. I may or may not be happy about this fact depending on whether the human is watching me or if she is peeking over my paws trying to see what I am writing in MY blog.
Some humans that really don’t know cats think we can’t train humans that the crazy cat-lady is just paranoid. We however know the truth we can manipulate them into doing anything we want one way or the other. In fact in my opinion with most humans and their pea brains all it takes is a purr!
My research using Juliet’s vocals to control the human while I watch her and make notes so I don’t forget any of the small sounds it takes to control a human’s pea brain. For instance the purring of a cat must sound like the hungry cry of a human stinky poopy thing because when Juliet purrs while looking into the humans eyes she gets food or treats of some type and this works 100% of the time. If any of you other genius kitty cats own two humans instead of only one like poor under staffed me I want to suggest you try this and while you are doing your research try to see if one human can be controlled easier than the other can. I personally doubt that because let’s face it all humans have small microscopic pea brains.
However, my theory is the one that must perform most of your chores could be controlled easier with different levels of each controlling sound that you use but the human that does fewer chores for you cannot be controlled as easy.
“Lennon it’s my turn you promised me I would be able to write something in OUR blog this time I sure wish we had parents around instead of just humans then I could tell on you but we call our human (aka the slave) humom and that does not give me any rank. Okay Juliet just one second and I will let you use MY laptop to write a few lines in MY blog. I guess the only way to shut Juliet up is to let her write something see there are lots of not so great things you are not told about having a fur-sister.”
Finally my little brother is not hogging the computer and I get to write something, oh mouse now he made me forget what I wanted to say.
“Oh really Juliet you’re going to blame it on me because you can’t think of anything to say about life with MY humom. Lennon, I have a lot to say about life with you and OUR humom just you wait and see what I write.”
Meowllo everypawdy my name is Juliet, I am a 1 ½ year old white American Shorthair cat with blue almond shape eyes, I have just adopted myself into this house with Lennon and OUR humom. Lennon calls her his slave; do not let him fool you he does not have as much control over her as he would like to believe. In fact right now him is staring at her bepawse he wants treats, silly boy he got treats a few minutes ago so the humom is paying him no attention. MOL!!!
“Okay Juliet your time is up gives me back MY laptop I want to tell them about MY fur-iends Feather and Porkchop and our conversation regarding the human they own wanting to groom them and her not knowing how to do it right. Okay Lennon, here take it but I get it back in 5 minutes!”
"Boy I thought she was going to pawsitivity going to keep MEZ laptop forever and I wanted to talk about how to make sure you instruct your human staff that grooms you in the way you want it done.”
ME friends Feather and Porkchop want me to tell you that cats all have their own ideas about human intervention with their grooming!
Porkchop likes to be brushed with a human people brush and Feather likes to be left alone Feather is very independent. Once in a while Porkchop likes a cat comb.
They figure most cats think differently too. We just want you know it is very important that your human staff should know that they aren't always right!
“Lennon it’s me turn again you are being a total hog with the computer”. “Juliet how many timez hab me got to tell you it’s a LAPTOP! We have got to sign off anyway me is hungry and you are not allowed on MY LAPTOP when I am not here to supervise you.”
Well that’s all for this week everypawdy. Juliet and I hope Efurryone has a Purrfectly MEOWrvelous weekend and week. Next week we may talk about cat scratching and how impawtant it is for you to train your staff on this subject. Juliet and mez have done well in this department with our slave as she just bought us and toy/scratching post. We will add a pikshure of it with our blog next time.
“Juliet will you stop your whining and no I do not have too much Catitude, as if!”