by: Lennon the Cat Strickland
Meowllow, my name is Lennon the Cat Strickland, yes I am a kitty cat, I am 10 months old, gray and white American Shorthair, and I own a human her is my slave. I run this house like a well-oiled machine; I have enormous amounts of CATITUDE and why not I is handsome, pawpulor with the ladies, I am very smart, and when I want something I get it or I stare at my human with the evil cat eye until she gets the message.
They must have decided I was too PURRFECT to live in the same house with that noisy, smelly attention hog creature because the man put me in my personal car transport and took me to this women who lived alone. I must say that was the PAWSITIVELY best move he could have made because this woman lived alone, is home all the time, and lays in bed until I need something. I think she must be a little lazy because instead of walking she uses this rolling chair thing to get around when she is not in that bed that raises up and down.
I get lots of PURR-RAISE which as I have already told you I deserve because of how PAWSITIVELY MEOWRVELOUS I am. When I want to play I bring a toy to my slave and drop it beside her see I have trained her to throw it so I can keep my purrfect body in shape by running to get the fake mouse which she seems to think is real this as I know is not true I use this thing to keep my hunting skills in top form. I also do it to prove how dumb my slave woman is I mean get real a fake mouse and she actually says that we are playing fetch is she crazy KITTEHS don’t play fetch that’s something that dogs do and I am not dog.
Now a couple of weeks ago my slave says I am getting a new fur-sister, that I would have a new playmate, and another kitteh to pal around with but that’s not the truth of the matter. Let me tell you my slave flat out lied, this white thing with blue eyes gets some attention, she eats where I eat, she sits in my window watching my birds, she uses my litter box, and my slave talks to her.
This is not my idea of fun and here is how I am letting my slave know I don’t apawreciate her being less than honest about what she calls my fur-sister. I attacked her in the middle of the night the first night Juliet (that is what my slave calls the white thing with blue eyes) was in my house, I started meowing and growling during the day, and jumping on the bed and pouncing across my slave’s chest while she is trying to use my computer. I think she is beginning to get the point that I am PAWSITIVELY not happy with her.
However, I am going to tell you a secret I think Juliet is pretty, I also think we are going to be good fur-iends. When the slave is asleep Juliet and I play together we have to be pretty quiet but still we have lots of fun and the slave never knows. During the day we ignore each other or hiss and growl at one another just to keep that woman thinking we don’t like each other so she will give us special attention and food like tuna instead of what she says is cat food.
Well that’s about it for now next week I will allow Juliet to tell you a little about herself and I will tell you more about training humans to do as you wish.